just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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