false alarm. still invincible.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
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She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
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Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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