so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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