I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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