it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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