So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
