At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
