Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
