Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
