She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
