Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
