You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
