Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
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