also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Such a big mess for such a small penis
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
