Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Did I show you my penis last night?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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