Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
