I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i now understand why vodka
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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