Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
