I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
