My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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