So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize