I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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