I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
