Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
