her vagine was all disorganized.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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