do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
