Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
