Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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