if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
