stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
