Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
