apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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