Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
