Do you still have your period?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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