He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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