"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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