isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
