he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
