You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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