I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
