We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
