i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize