my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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