I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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