I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
