Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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