Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
