isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
