is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
