Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
