you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
