Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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