I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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