dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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