i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
