Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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