she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
