This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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