I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
