Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
