saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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