I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
