it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
